Things Your Child Should Not Say To You In Front Of A Security Guard

"Who are you? Do I know you?"

Yes, my little joker decided to ask Tiff these very questions as they were passing the security guard on their way out of Target one day. There was no incident, thankfully, but can you imagine what could have happened if he were an overzealous security guard intent on doing his job to the fullest of his capabilities?

Yeah.

Then again, if Tiff or I wasn't the one taking Kenzie outside the store, I'd have wanted him to be that overzealous security guard.

Still, it's a funny thing for her to have said.

As one of her projects at school, Kenzie had to hand-write a letter to me and Tiffany. She not only addressed the letter to myself and Tiff, but also to our cat, Bella, who can be seen at top right. I think that she did pretty well writing her letter, as you can see. The size and shape of her letters looks pretty consistent. Now, Kenzie doesn't know how to spell most words, so she had to have her teacher tell her how to spell all the words in the letter that aren't our names.

What I'd like to know is: what must have been going through her teacher's mind while she was telling Kenzie how to spell the last part of her letter. Check it out (click the pictures to enlarge them):

People often refer to little girls as 'Princesses'. Whether this is meant sarcastically or as a compliment is always up in the air, for me, anyway. There have been numerous times when Kenzie acts like sheer royalty, a gracious host and benevolent patrician. Then there are times when she acts like Princess Vespa from Spaceballs, your stereotypical spoiled rich kid.

Well, we took Kenzie to the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire this past weekend. I used to go to the faire when I was younger. I loved being there and interacting with the actors and looking at all the weapons and armor for sale. There were so many reasons I would go that I would go several times each season. And, yes, I would dress up in costume every time. Because of my love for the renaissance faire I was really looking forward to the day when I could take Kenzie to it, hoping that she'd love it every bit as much as I did.

My main fear was that she wouldn't like it because she'd have to walk all day. Also, I wasn't sure if she would really grasp what was going on around her. I figured that she'd like some of the costumes some of the folks would be wearing, but I figured we'd be there for about 2 hours before she started to complain that her legs were tired and she wanted to leave. Thankfully, all of my fears would be put to rest...eventually.

The day started off slowly. We arrived shortly after 1030 am. The place was buzzing already. There were actors dressed up as peasants lining the walkway greeting all the patrons of the faire. These folks really creeped Kenzie out. She lowered her chin, put her hand to her face and stared intently at the ground trying to avoid making eye contact with just about anybody, even the Queen.

We met the Queen on the way in and tried to get Kenzie to stand next to her so we could take their picture together, but Kenzie would not do it. I was a little disappointed but she needed time to get used to what she was seeing. The closest Kenzie has ever been to anything medieval has been Spongebob Squarepants: Lost In Time, which was totally lame.

Kenzie eventually started to come out of her shell, but not before we bought her her very own princess costume! The costume was beautiful and she looked so adorable in it. This is when the compliments from actors and fellow patrons really started to pour in and when she finally started to get comfortable. Kenzie was a real Princess for a day!

Most of the day was spent walking around looking at different jewelry and crafts tables like the candle makers hut where Kenzie got to make a candle wax mold of her hand. It was pretty neat watching her cast her hand in wax. She also purchased some of her very own Wish Stones and Fairy Rocks. And we also found out that she likes to eat smoked turkey legs. In fact, she ate the better part of two legs throughout the course of the day!

The last big event before the finale was the joust. Kenzie loved this part. During the joust there was a staged brawl between the good guys and the bad guys with loud "cannon" fire and fake blood. Kenzie was enthralled by this exhibition.

After the joust there was a big finale of song and dance with all the players who appeared throughout the day. We didn't leave till after 800 pm. On the way out Kenzie finally got to give the Queen a hug. Unfortunately it was very dark and we couldn't get a good picture, but it was great to see Kenzie finally comfortable at the faire.

On the way to the car she asked when we could come back to the faire. That made me feel good. I can't wait to take her back to the faire. I've got to start working on a new costume for myself so we can both dress up next time! Go check out my Andy's Pics page for some awesome pictures!

Thursdays and Fridays are my nights to pick Kenzie up from school. And last night on the ride home, I flicked her on the leg. Why I decided to flick her leg isn't important. What's important - and funny - is that as a result, she banned me from her "next party." Confused, I asked her when her party was going to be and she responded that she was referring to her 5th birthday party, which is more than six months away.

I must really be in the doghouse because today she banned me from all of her birthdays up until her ninth.

So if I'm not invited to her birthday parties, does that mean I don't have to pay for them?

My daughter loves me. She's told me so herself. There are, however, things that she has intimated that she loves more than me, as well as some things that she loves less than me. To save myself time and the risk of acquiring carpal tunnel syndrome, I will list the

Things That Kenzie Loves Less Than Me:

1) Hot Sauce
2) School Buses
3) Ben (the one in her class at school, not the Ben with whom I work)
4) Runny Noses
5) Being Sick

With Father's Day right around the corner, it's good to know that I am loved.

So Kenzie's recital was this morning. It was awesome. It was pretty well done. The theme was Beauty and the Beast. All the little girls were dressed up like Belle. I'll post pictures on the Andy's Pics page later today. Kenzie was hamming it up the whole time. It was a lot of fun.

Now she says she wants to take dance during the summer. The reason I think she wants to take dance is because the instructor said that the summer class' theme will be Shrek and the girls will be dressed like Princess Fiona. Kenzie loves the Shrek movies. So she'll peobably end up taking Dance and Karate. Oh well. It's money well spent if she does decide to take dance.

I'll post pics tonight once I get the digital camera back from Tiff. Till then,

-andy

So tomorrow is Kenzie's dance recital. I'll try to figure out how to post video so you can see some of it, but that'll take quite a while as far as I can tell. I'll let you know when/if I can get any videos posted, so keep checking back.

Kenzie's been taking dance all year long. She likes it well enough, but has intimated that she has no desire to continue next year or through the summer. Instead she wants to take karate. That's my girl.

Honestly, though, I'm glad she wants to take karate. I think self-defense is a smart thing and I can only hope that she'd be interested in continuing with karate after this summer program. Personally, I'd like to see her take karate throughout elementary, middle and high school.

The state of the world today demands that women be able to kick some righteous ass because you never know who is around the corner. But I don't want to get going on a tangent. Anyway...

I took karate in high school. I was marginally ok at it. I progressed all the way up to purple belt with one stripe. The next level for me was green, then brown, then black. I was pretty decent. But I stopped right before I went away to college. Then the head instructor of the school grew a ponytail, bought a sports car, left his wife, and moved to Vernon, NJ. Needless to say, the school's no longer there. I really miss it.

I was one of the very first students there. My friend, Ray, and I both signed up for the two-week trial together. I guess karate wasn't his thing; he was always more of a runner. And both Ray and I ruled the earth when it came to frisbee, but I digress.

It's been ages since I've donned a gi and I'd love to start up again. I looked at the local Kung Fu school and they charge $100 per month. When I was taking karate I paid (rather, my parents paid) $40 per month. But then again, that was from 1990-1993. A lot has changed since then. But the price doesn't make me squeamish. It's the school's hours. If I signed up now I'd never be able to make a class unless I got promoted to an Enterprise branch closer to home. But then again, right now I'm not thinking about me; I'm trying to think about Kenzie.

I'll have to evaluate her as the summer progresses. Hopefully she'll really like karate and it'll be something she'd like to pursue in the years ahead. Time will tell. Till then,

-andy