Kenzie was watching Zoey 101 on Nickelodeon one night last week. Yes, that's the show with Britney Spears' pregnant little sister. Tiff and I have watched Zoey 101 with Kenzie and it's not a bad show; it's actually pretty well-written, well-acted, and there's nothing objectionable that we've seen so far for a show aimed at tweens. It's one of Kenzie's favorite shows and I don't mind letting her watch it even though she's not anywhere near being a tween. But the purpose of this post isn't to critique kids shows on Nickelodeon.

In that night's episode, Chase, one of the main characters, was celebrating his birthday. As her gift to him, Zoey tried to get his grandmother to fly in to visit since he hasn't seen her in a long time. Turns out that his grandmother couldn't make the party because she died. I asked Kenzie what was happening to see if she could grasp the concept. She promptly advised me that Chase's grandmother died and that he was sad. It's good to know that she's able to determine good and bad (like the time I went skeet shooting with my dad and brother, Joey. I told Kenzie I was going shooting with grandpa and Kenzie got very upset knowing that I was going to go somewhere and use a gun).

What really pleased me was that she followed it up by coming into the kitchen to give me a hug and to tell me that she didn't want me to die (not that she ever wished that I would die). She said that she would be very sad if I died (note the inclusion of the word "very"). I always figured that she would be sad if I died, but after having been banned from any of her birthday parties up until age 9 (you'll recognize this statement if you read this page regularly), I figured that my status may have changed over time. Apparently it hasn't. It's good to know that I'd be missed.

Then I got to thinking: What if it all ended tomorrow?

Thinking about dying and not getting to see Kenzie grow up, get married and have kids, and missing out on all those wonderful moments that every parent looks forward to in their child's life makes me terribly sad (thinking about having to pay for her college and her wedding makes me terribly sad, too, so maybe death isn't so bad an option. Just kidding). I don't want her to grow up without me or with just a memory and a scant few pictures of me.

But if it all ended tomorrow I suppose I'd be okay with that since I'd have no other choice; after all, when it's your time to go, it's your time to go. I guess I'd have to look toward the great beyond and hope for the best.

Personally, I think I've led a pretty decent life. I've not killed anybody, done anything unspeakable (though you may get a different story if you ask my mom since she was absolutely apalled that I would wear green Converse Chucks sneakers and a tuxedo to my high school prom) in my life to date nor do I have any intentions or plans to commit any atrocities. I am fairly confident that I would end up in heaven.

I believe that you get to choose how you spend your eternity in heaven (as opposed to having your eternity chosen for you in hell). If that's the case, I would like my eternity to be spent with my wife and my daughter, just as they are now. We have had our problems (what family hasn't), but I think that the three of us make a pretty good team and we do have a lot of fun together, even if Tiff's work schedule and mine both suck and severely limit the things we can do as a family (ie - weekend trips, vacations, etc).

I'd like to spend my eternal life playing games, doing puzzles, watching television, driving in my little white truck or Tiff's Elantra, going to the park, the movies, and miscellaneous other day-trips, and basically all the fun things we do now, with my little family (the presence of the cats are optional but not necessary).

When Tiff and Kenzie eventually pass, which hopefully won't be for a very long time from now, they can chose how to spend their own eternities, but I want my eternity to be spent with them.