We have reached week 9 of Tiff's pregnancy and, according to the Mother of All Pregnancy Books, the baby is about 1.5 - 2.0 inches long and will start moving on its own very soon. Tiff won't be able to feel the movements for another couple of weeks, though.

We have gone clothes shopping a few times in the past couple of weeks; we've gone maternity-clothes shopping. It's amazingly tough to find affordable clothes that she can wear to work. It's even harder for me to stay awake while we're shopping. For some reason when we walk into a maternity store or a maternity section of a store, I cannot for the life of me keep my eyes open. It's as if something is sucking all my energy, sucking the life from me. I can't focus, my eyes cross and I start to yawn incessantly. I don't know what it is. Of course, as soon as we leave the section or the store, I am fine. It's like I've slept all day and have just woken up.

I submit to you (my high school physics teacher, Mr. Kota, used to say that a lot. that and, "will you guys shut up?!"):

A few weekends ago, Tiff took me to WalMart, Target and Mimi's Maternity. My feet dragged, my sleeves were soaked with the tears of my ever-more-frequent yawns, and if it weren't for the shopping cart that she made me push, I would have fallen over into a rack of maternity-style "unmentionables." Then we left to go home. As soon as we got home I wanted to go out again. I wanted to go to Borders book store. I wanted to go to a movie. Heck, I would have gone out maternity shopping again!

Then last week we went for her ultrasound. I wasn't sleeping during that, but I was starting to get tired. After the ultrasound we went to put her on a registry. I was instantly awake once we walked into the store. I think it had to do with the fact that I knew we weren't clothes shopping, the toys and my irritation with the stupid kid behind the counter at the registry. Here's an excerpt of the exchange that took place between he and my wife:

Tiff: Hi, I need to sign up for the baby registry.
Clerk: I'm sorry, I don't know what that is.
Tiff: I was told the registry is at the jewelry counter. Is it here?
Clerk: Oh, do you want to find someone's registry?
Tiff: No, I want to sign up for one.
Clerk: Do you know the person's name?
Tiff: I want to start a gift registry.
Clerk: Oh, okay. It's this thing. I don't really know how to use it, but you can just follow the instructions on the screen.
[Clerk leaves]
Me: Dumb [expletive].

We figured it out, of course. You don't need to be a college graduate (or a young, male WalMart employee whose IQ can be represented using only one hand), to be able to figure out how to use the gift registry, but the situation still made me laugh.

I know it'll get better. I know I'll stop falling asleep while we're clothes shopping eventually. Right now, though, I am really getting psyched for the next ultrasound so I can see how the computer gets the random dots to resemble a baby. Till then,

-andy