Tiff and I had gone to Missouri for Thanksgiving. Our flight left at 7:49 a.m. on Thursday, November 28. This meant that we needed to be at the airport about 2 hours ahead. I didn't want to bother my roommate, Chris, to drive us to the airport at 5 a.m., not that he would have, so we took Rapid Rover, a shuttle-van service. The only catch was that the only time they could pick us up was at 4:15 a.m. This meant that Tiff and I had to be awake by 3 a.m. so we could shower, dress and be ready for the van. this wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have to clean the house before I went to sleep. I got to bed at 1 a.m.

We made it to the airport in plenty of time and sat around for a long time after having traversed what seemed to be about 3 miles worth of airport walkways. Our plane arrived and it was time to board. As we were getting on the plane I noticed something a bit disturbing: the airplane had duct tape all over it. I decided not to tell Tiff about this since she didn't seem to notice.

The airplane was rather small. It was an Embreaer jet, the kind used for island hopping. If you've never seen or been on a jet like this, you probably don't want to be. As you board, the seating column to the right has only one seat in each row and the column to the left only had 2 seats in each row. The storage bins for carry-on luggage were only above the column to the left. In short, it was freakin' cramped.

The flight went pretty well, for the most part. Heck, the pilot only made the plane skip once upon landing. We met Tiff's mom and sister in the airport and made our way back to her place.

The weekend was good. We ate a lot of food. The weekend, like this paragraph, went too quickly. Before we knew it, it was time to come home to New Jersey.

There was no duct tape on the plane that took us home, but at one point, coming into Philadelphia, it felt like the pilot shut off the engines because it started to feel as though we were free-falling. Not a very good feeling to have on a plane. Then, upon landing, we didn't skip, but we definitely came in too fast because the plane lurched horribly when the pilot engaged the air brakes. That probably would have upset the old couple in the row in front of us. As it were, I think landing scared the old guy in front of us because immediately after the bad landing, a raunchy smell wafted around the plane. I think the old guy pooped in his pants because of the landing.

We got home late and went to sleep. After all, I had to go to work in the morning.

5 a.m. I am soundly asleep.

"Andy, wake up."

"Hmmm?"

"I've been awake since 4 throwing up and having contractions. Wake up."

"You've been having contractions?"

"Yes."

Crap.

I got up and she called her doctor who told her to come to the Emergency Room. We got into her car and started to go to the hospital. On the way there, Tiff asked, "Why aren't you speeding?" Technically, I was. I was going 4 miles an hour over the limit. I just didn't want to waste time by getting pulled over. But I sped up anyway.

We got to the hospital at 5:30 and signed her in. She was put in a room and hooked up to a machine that monitors the baby's heartbeat. She got an intraveinous full of something. I stayed with her that day and missed a day of work (December 3). But I did get to walk around the hospital and watch ER twice and Law and Order. They kept her there overnight, and overnight again the next night.

It turns out that she had the flu. She was dehydrated and the virus was irritating her uterus and that is why she was having contractions. I was very glad to hear that it was not pre-term labor. And it was great to be able to hear Kenzie's heartbeat constantly for hours and hours. It was comforting. One thing about that little girl in there, though: she is a trooper. Tiff was lying on the hospital bed looking like death warmed over, but Kenzie's heartbeat was a strong 150 beats per minute and she was kicking and moving around almost the whole time (judging by the 'swooshing' noises emenating from the monitor).

Now Tiff's doctor wants to see her every two weeks just to keep an eye on her. I was very glad that Kenzie was not going to be making a surprise early appearance. Because, as much as I would love to have the tax write-off, I don't want her to come out too early. I want her to come out and give me a high-five. I want her to be perfectly healthy.

With or without that 11th toe.